Yeah, so it’s now official that nothing good ever works out for me and I am going to moan about it because there really is nothing I can do about it. I hate being such an insecure little shit that ends up appologizing to everyone for everything I do because I feel like I’m too much of a shit person that I need to say sorry. That doesnt make any sense but I’m angry. I just really want something good to work. Please. Its not really that much to ask for. Please can I just be a cool, pretty, confident person? Instead of… whatever I am. I try to be okay with myself, then something shit happens. I try to speak to people, I just embarass myself. I have no idea how I’m going to live a life being like this. I fucking hate being me. Thank god I used to be alright when I was younger or I’d genuinly have no friends what so ever. I just want so badly to be one of those girls who are pretty and funny and awesome and just generally amazing. Even though people say “it’s not about looks”, I still can’t get anyone interested because I dont talk because I’m shit so how’re they ever going to know my personality as well? Or someone doesnt really know me and thinks I’m reasonably cool and then they get to know me and realise I’m just crap. Wtf man, can’t do it. I’m seriously going to have to fucking get over all this. But how? I make things shit for myself by being like this but I dont know how to make it disappear. I now admit I need help.